Here are the things I think I know about myself:
I am prone to seasonal depression: nothing disabling, but it isn't pleasant and it makes winters particularly hard to get through.
It's me and I do these things, and it's the depression: I have some issues around food, money and home. (Translation: I eat to sedate myself, I purchase things in order to feel cared for, and we counted up last night, and I've moved 20 times in 28 years, resisting settling and then falling into pits of despair because I don't feel creatively engaged in making my dwelling a home!)
I'm at once relentlessly logical and pretty spotty on the cause/effect link.
I think I'm going through perimenopause.
I love my job and it irritates and angers me all at the same time.
And the thing I know about running is that there's a very direct connection between the effort put in and the results achieved. No, I won't be qualifying for Boston. But I'll be stronger, I'll be mentally tougher, and I'll go further if I train; and if I don't, those things just won't happen.
As for today? Well, I went to the gym, thundered on the elliptical for 15 minutes, had an "interesting" yoga class where it would seem that I'm fused in certain spots, and then ran 3.5 miles on the treadmill, doing slow 5 and 1s. No-one died, not even me. I went easy, I focused on being and staying relaxed, and I refused to push beyond what felt comfortable.
And this week's additional commitment? I'm going to write down what I eat.
So far...!
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